Why does this memory haunt her? Why does it keep returning? She does not remember the exact age of when this happened. She would have been 5, 6 or 7 years old. The past couple of years when this memory surfaced she has taken the time to feel emotions she buried from that time …. sadness and anger. Even though she remembers not who was involved, she has forgiven whoever it was.
She used to ignore it. Telling herself either she imagined it or if it happened …
End it With the Period ……. Sent with Howls of Love!!! xoxo
Life is Not the Stories We Tell Ourselves
“Do not expect others to follow your way. When things always go your way, it is easy to become arrogant.” -The Treatise on the King of Treasures Samadhi
Sunday, May 13, 2018 was Mother’s Day in the United States. It was the worst Mother’s Day I can remember experiencing.
I’m writing this, I’m sharing this, for those amongst us whose hearts were covered and weighted with sadness. As I know not everyone had a great and blessed day being showered and pampered with love by themselves or loved ones.
Thomas had just returned to Reno from his visit with The Romano Duo (grandparents) in Arizona. He had much blunt and forthright thoughts to share about how unhappy he is with our situation and with Lillian’s inflexibilities and anxieties. I grabbed that hook and sank into a deep sadness of telling myself how much of a failure I am at providing for my kids, how much of a failure I am at being their parent.
(Let me add here that I do not blame Thomas. I have raised him to be …..
Not unlike many mornings over the past 17 years. The meaning and depth of the walk has shifted throughout the years. What began as a way to exercise and get fresh air has shifted to be much deeper than that.
I have experienced many mindful walks. Walking slower than usual, listening, feeling, and smelling in silence.
Oh Snap! Thank you to Thomas for continually being the one that says to me, flat out, “That wasn’t kind.” …. He’s like a truth compass when my own internal compass feels like it’s been 20 rounds in the washing machine.
Truth be told, on the day I wrote this, I woke up feeling heavy, sad, overwhelmed …. and …..