August 10 2017:
Incredibly grateful for this young man I get to have as my son. Not because our relationship is all roses and rainbows. It’s anything but that. Yet, definitely some roses and rainbows blooming too!
At dinner Lillian choked badly on a piece of pear. She’s choked on food many times, yet always gets it out pretty quick by coughing. She has poor oral motor skills and doesn’t chew food thoroughly.
She could not get it out last night and I panicked. Watching your daughter struggle for a breath and begin to turn purple is a dreadful and draining experience. Completely forgot what I know about assisting a person choking on food. After what seemed like forever, we finally got it out.
Then I had a huge meltdown being upset about that and getting caught up in my own melodrama. Thomas said exactly the things I didn’t want to hear and exactly what I would have said to either of them in that situation.
I cannot even express in words how blessed and grateful I am that we three are traveling this life’s journey together. Thank you Thomas for helping me to learn not to cling and to let “things” move on through me rather than hanging on for dear life …. I choose Happiness. That’s what I choose … xoxoxoxo