November 13 2019:
It’s the 14th birthday today!!
We began the day with gifts and cheesecake with macerated strawberries!
Then opening gifts! Handmade snowflakes from Lillian, a couple of t-shirts and deck of cards from The Romano Duo and me, a LEGO advent calendar from the Romano Duo, and a birthday poem from me. I already packed the goodies needed to turn it into a wall hanger so will have to do that when I’m making Christmas gifts.
The date of your birth is here once again
On this day I am reminded of treasure
You, your essence, all that makes you YOU
are a treasure of the highest and brightest
A blessing beyond measure, you are
May your fourteenth revolution around the sun
be all that you wish it to be
May laughter and joy be your constant companion
May the sun warm your heart and smile
May you continue to question that which perplexes
May you continue to speak up for what moves you
May you hold your dreams close
never letting them go,
allowing them to shift as you do
May your heart’s desire root, grow, and blossom
May you be who you know yourself to be
May you know that joy lives in allowing our true self to shine
May you know that I love you as the Sun loves the Earth
May you have a wonderful, fun, and joyous fourteenth year.
I love you,
Thomas requested a late lunch at Great Full Gardens. YAY!! One of my favorite places to eat. We began with the stuffed mushrooms and avocado bruschetta. Thomas had the Magical Mushroom tea and I had a fresh brewed Kombucha.
Main course was a Pastrami sandwich with slaw for Thomas and a cold soba noodle salad for me. Way too much food! Brought the leftovers home for enjoying later. Thomas was given an apple chai cookie as a birthday treat from Great Full Gardens.
Once home, and after I packed for a few minutes, we went for one last walk around the lake with just me and Thomas. Throughout the 4 years living here, Thomas had amassed quite the stick and limb collection on our patio. With his permission, I have slowly been returning them to nature during my walks. We took the last one with us tonight, giving it a water burial in the lake.
We said goodbye to what remained of the beautiful tree that was cut down a couple of years ago. Thomas spent much time climbing that tree during our walks. We also had a wee ceremony/burial for the trees and weeds that are no more due to a new apartment community that was built during our time here.
We made a stop by a neighbor’s place as I’m cat sitting while she’s out of town. I have watched these lovely cats, Jack and MIttens, for about 3 years. Thomas has come with me here and there, so he came by to say goodbye to them.
Then, back home to end another great birthday and date day! Lillian left this afternoon for a few days with The Romano Duo.
And now for a walk through memory lane of birthdays past. Beginning with last year ….
Original post from the 13th birthday:
My Dearest Thomas,
A child called Thomas was born
on this day in 2005.
The child arrived about 9:00 at night;
swimming into a new world.
Incredible joy this one
brought along to share.
Smiling, smiling, smiling
a great deal of the time.
A beautiful baby body,
soft as silk, deep with warmth,
and a perfect fit
in this Mom’s arms and heart.
The Mom’s love and support
for the child, Thomas,
runs as deep and wide
as the Universe and beyond.
What the Mom most wants
Thomas to know in the deepest
recesses of the heart ….
You cannot disappoint me,
You are not here to please me
and do as you think I wish.
You do not have to fear
what I will think.
You cannot disappoint me.
This Mom will support you
always and forever,
beyond even the time in
which she is using this body.
This Mom’s love is not
conditioned on who you be or don’t be,
nor what you do or don’t do.
This Mom trusts you.
This Mom believes in you.
This Mom knows you are worthy
of your heart’s desire.
This Mom apologizes for
conditions not being as you
and she deserve.
You cannot disappoint me.
I will love and support you
always and forever …
Happy 13th Birthday Thomas!
I love YOU!!
Now … Let’s make this the
best day of your life …. So far … xoxo
Next is the 12th birthday …
Original post from the 12th bday:
In this, your twelfth year
orbiting the sun ….
You light up my life
like I could never
have imagined ….
For I fully believe
you and I have a long
history beyond the
earth suits we now wear.
You and I made an
agreement to help
one another past
blocks that we’ve
held onto for
Thank you for staying
true to our long
ago made agreement.
As much and as many
times as I’d like
to stick my head
in the sand and
pretend I don’t know
what I know.
Thomas Arthur ….
My soulmate from
another time, another place.
You are one
Knows me enough ….
to call me on
my own BS.
Standing up to me
when the ego
rears its nastiness.
You came swimming
into this world
on the thirteenth
of November 2005,
and have known
from the moment
of your first breath
who you are …
And have never
forgotten to stay
true to your heart.
Yet, you remind
me often that you
too are human …
Indeed a reminder
of the Yin and Yang
of this wondrous
thing called Life.
I am so
by having you
as a partner in
this dance of life.
In other words … You are Unforgettable and I Love YOU!!
How lucky can one mom be? Let me ponder the ways ….
He chooses an old black and white Frank Capra movie over a newer movie
Our pandora station mostly stays on the Mambo Italiano station by his request
Johnny Be Good is one of his favorite songs
He continues to stay in touch with the kindness and compassion in his heart
He is passionate about matters true to his heart
He feels those who manufacture socks make them wrong (the seam should be on the outside)
He is an aspiring philosopher
He is an outspoken movie and music critique
He loves the movie, “Singin in the Rain”, “It Happened on 5th Avenue”, and “It’s a Wonderful Life” … among many other classic movies
He loves listening to Louis Armstrong, Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and others of that era
His book choices inspire me
He was adamant that he volunteer with the cats at Nevada Humane Society once he was old enough
Thomas-isms throughout the years …
”When we get enough money, we can open a new country called Team TLC Valley.” (January 2012)
”This wind is scaring the nerves off my butt!” (February 2012)
“I don’t want dessert. I’m too busy reading.” (April 2012)
“I’m so happy, I can’t stop my smile!” (April 2012)
“My eyes are sweating.” (April 2012)
“Everywhere we go is fun, even when I don’t think it’s going to be.” (April 2012)
“Mom, what’s my destiny?” (April 2012)
“You are my bestest Mom ever ’cause you help me learn stuff like how to fall asleep” (June 2012)
“You are having the most FUN when you are dirty. Isn’t that right Mom?” (June 2012)
“Love is located in the middle of kindness and happiness” (November 2012)
“Millions of questions flash in my mind every day. I can’t even ask them all in one day.” (November 2012)
“Keep the HappYness and beauty of Christmas not only in your thoughts …. but in your heart!” (December 2012)
“The more we spread kindness, the whole world will probably become more kind.” (January 2013)
“My life is like a book and someone is reading it.” (February 2013)
“I just hugged and kissed a pile of dirt. I need to rinse my mouth off now.” (April 2013)
“I’m the richest man in the World because I’m so happy. You are the best Mom in the World. Lillian is the best Sister in the World. I hope everybody in the World is this rich and finds the happiness that’s in them.” (June 2013)
“I like going for walks. They make me feel good.” (August 2013)
“When you do things that are good for the Earth, you do things that are good for you.” (April 2014)
“I just wanna walk up to people, tell them I love them and give them a hug” (May 2014)
“I can’t help it. I was made this way. I was made to be loud.” (October 2014)
“I like you. You make my life feel good.” (November 2015)
“It’s so quiet. It’s like no one else exists.” (January 2016)
“When you inspire someone, it creates a chain reaction.” (January 2016)
“I think, Lillian worries, Camilla just is.” (February 2016)
“I love Bernoulli numbers. I just love thinking about them and looking at them.” (February 2016)
“This is blissful. Do you know what that means? It feels spiritual. It makes you feel good and happy that you’re alive.” (April 2016) (Said as he was painting a rock.)
“Imagination is a nice thing. Without it, we wouldn’t be able to make all the cool things we can with it.” (May 2016)
“Would anyone believe that playing with sticks and walking and splashing in the water would be so fun?” (September 2016)
“We’re the weirdest people I know.” (November 2016)
“I feel like I can see the future in my dreams …. Because I always feel nostalgic.” (November 2016)
“You are so weird. I just want you to know I really like that about you.” (December 2016) (Said to me …. HA!)
“A little bit of craziness keeps me sane.” (January 2017)
“If we had a house made out of chocolate and potato medallions, I’d live there forever.” (January 2017)
“I’m always asking questions about life. I just want to know. Is that okay?” (February 2017)
“My brain, heart, and stomach are happy!” (February 2017)
“Have you noticed that sometimes I smile just because I’m alive?” (June 2017)
“When did someone decide that we needed to learn by being taught instead of learning by trial and error?” (June 2017)
“Everyone stores rocks in their sock drawer, right?” (June 2017)
“I’m so happy! What’s the highest level of Happy that exists?” (June 2017)
“The people who created the formulas and rules were drunk.” (July 2017) (In response to discussions about SSI/SSDI/Medicaid/Medicare relating to Lillian.)
And most recently – November 2017 ….
At dinner Thomas asked, “If you could go back in time and spend time with someone, who would you choose?”
While I was thinking of what to say, he shared his answer. He would go back to when Hitler was a kid and encourage him to attend art school.
I didn’t even know what to say after that. Selfishly, I had been thinking Buddha, Jesus, or Gandhi simply to be amongst their energies.
So incredibly grateful for having Thomas be a part of my life … xoxo
Next is the 11th birthday …
Original post from the 11th bday:
The gifts and the cake ….
He wanted cheesecake for his cake. So that’s what I made for him with shaved dark chocolate on top. Oh my YUM!!!
He so loves and enjoys reading National Geographic so I got him a subscription for the print edition. Lillian made a handmade card and then a “mystery box” (which he renamed a “memory box”).
With help from me she collected items from around the house to put in the box and then she handmade a coupon for one stone or crystal from Stone Age with some of her own quotes on the back. Other goodies from The Romano Duo!!
“We’re the weirdest people I know.” ~Thomas Darnell (11.8.16) …. To which we both burst out laughing and let even more weirdness ensue. It’s true. I’m not your average person, nor the average mom. But, that’s another story for another time ….This one’s for Thomas ….
Happy Happy Happy 11th Birthday Thomas!!!!
Here’s to you! As you begin your 11th trip around the sun, may you live your life to the fullest. You have blessed me with countless gifts from the moment you joined us.
Your tender heart combined with your honesty, compassion, and empathy are indeed precious. Rounded out with your true confusion as to why age seems to be such a big deal in this world, by way if its limitations; have made for interesting, fun, and life shifting adventures and conversations. Your soul knows no age and you have not forgotten that.
“It’s like I’ve lived this life before, I have nostalgia almost every day, like I’ve experienced this all before.” said often by Thomas.
Snapshot of Thomas: Some of his favorite topics are minecraft, LEGOS, coding, math, and learning about topics that interest him. He loves fibonacci numbers, bernoulli’s equation, and the law of infinite probability. Some of his most cherished things to do are reading, being outside, going on adventures, and swimming.
And as of about two weeks ago, has a PUBLISHED BOOK!!! Wahoooo!!!
He asks a billion questions, makes funny noises, teases his sister too much, has sensory processing issues, gets overwhelmed in crowds and noisy places, takes longer than the average person to process questions asked of him ….
He calls me out when I’m not “doing” as I say, he holds the biggest freakin mirror in front of me when I need it most, and he has a heart of gold.
Thomas, I love you throughout all of time and all dimensions and am blessed we chose to be mother and son in this life.
PEACE and LOVE …. PEACE and LOVE …. PEACE and LOVE ….
Next is the 10th birthday …
Original post from the 10th bday:
What do I say that I haven’t already said to celebrate this wonderful, kind-hearted, shining young man? It really matters less what I say about and to him as opposed to how much it matters how I live my own life, what I mirror and how I react to life’s situations in his presence.
That’s the amazing thing about having kids. It’s like having an accountability partner 24 hours a day, a walking vision board, a mirror even; to remind you of how you truly want to live your life. This is also why I, and others, claim that our kids are one of our greatest teachers. They mirror for us qualities about ourselves that we want to shift and remind us of our own philosophies and words of wisdom when we most need to hear or see it.
My birthday wish for Thomas is that he never forget the qualities of his soul. That he is an empathetic, kind-hearted being of love, that he never misses out on an opportunity to spread loving-kindness when he is urged by his inner light to do so. That he never lets me or another adult tell him his thoughts and ideas for spreading loving-kindness won’t work or are silly. That he discovers the treasure that he holds in his heart and share that treasure with all other beings. That this bring him all that he desires – success, prosperity, affluence – all wrapped in the love shared by others. And, that he always remembers to have fun and laugh while living this life.
In moments of confusion remember to BE quiet, BE still, breathe, think peaceful thoughts (especially the peace mantra we learned – Om Shanti Om). When you connect with the stillness, you open the portal to your own creativity and your heart will use that to give you answers and solutions. It’s magical, miraculous, and it works every time.
May you never let your light be dulled by outside influences, may you remain true to your heart, and may you always strive to BE mindful. There are no words to describe the depth of love I feel for you. YOU are a true gift.