Throwback Post: Major Meltdown

**THROWBACK POST**

December 6 2013:

Sweet Lillian had a major melt down the other morning. Oh my word! I realize how much Thomas is looking to me to see how I respond and how to respond when she’s lost it. There is no speaking to her. One must wait until she has calmed. As she was in her room trying to get calm, I explained to Thomas that she is going through puberty on top of having a decreased ability to control and handle her response when things don’t go as she wants them to … due to her chromosome abnormality. At times it is difficult for me to control my response!

What seems to be working during this phase is to flood my thoughts and heart with love and compassion and respond softly. This does not mean I do not respond when Lillian blames me and Thomas for how she chooses to react. I gently let her know that absolutely no one controls what she says and does but her. I give her suggestions like taking deep breaths, counting, going to her room, reading a book, changing what she’s thinking about, drinking some water.

Thomas has a great deal of anxiety when Lillian is unhappy or having a melt down. I attempt to show him by my reaction that we want to not let our emotions/attitude be controlled by other people and their emotions. I explain that I know it’s difficult at times and that if we are at least aware of this, then we can be more helpful by focusing on a solution when needed. Otherwise, Lillian has had great days all this week! Love and hugs y’all! xoxo

For years I have been making a shift to more mindful living. By no means do I have this perfected and there are times when I’m less than happy with my chosen response! However, when I do offer an “icky” response, I don’t beat myself up about it. I take note of it, release it and move on …

I sometimes over react too. I forgive myself, apologize to others and release it. We know that anything we say in anger is not coming from our true selves. Our true self only knows love and compassion. Oceans of love and hugs to all y’all!! xoxo

Honestly, there are times I would like to stick my head in the sand and pretend I don’t have kids …. And then, in the thick of the dramatic moment and in times of calm, I look deep into Lillian’s or Thomas’s eyes and we truly “see” one another. We each know that there’s no need to play games or “do” drama …. that’s not who we truly are …

2015 update:

It’s been 2 years since I posted this. It served as a good reminder when it popped up in memories. I’m still working on the blog post about the current journey with Ms. Lillian. I’d love to say that this got better. Yet, in fact it got worse (the melt downs became volatile last December 2014). We are making really good progress with psychotherapy (focused on mindfulness, recognizing emotions, and CBT).

Thomas does indeed still have anxiety when she has a meltdown turned explosion. Yet, he has learned the art of distraction. He tries his best using this method. Plus, he’s even used it on me! It’s been a journey of growth and learning. It’s been perfect and is happening exactly as it should be! Lillian has been the teacher that brought mindfulness into our life and that is a true blessing! Hugs to all y’all! xoxo


(Recent photo of Lillian, on one of our walks)

**September 2020 Update** 

I’m happy to write that things have gotten better! Lillian began using botanical oils in 2017, and once I got the dosage and timing figured out, it has helped tremendously. She still does have the occasional volatile melt down, but not nearly as often. I’m sure that maturity has helped a bit, too. Yet, still waiting for that to kick in a bit more.

Vegan Eats: Who Remembers Funyuns and Coconut Jerky

July 20 2020

Who remembers Funyuns? They were one of my favorite junk foods growing up. To me, these Vegan Rob’s Brussel Sprout Puffs taste like Funyuns. It absolutely doesn’t taste like Brussels sprout. Ha! I like all of the flavors, but this one is my favorite. Bonus: I like the ingredients, too!

August 15 2020

When you post about one of your vegan finds and a friend mails you bunches of said find! Plus, some yummy CBD tea. Thanks, Kimberly!!

Wonderful Walks With Clouds and Thorny Sunsets While the Ornamental Grass Glows

August 9 2020

There were many wonderful walks, clouds and sunsets during the two week stay at home vacation and social media break.

August 11 2020

Sunset walk with Lillian.
Sometimes parenting is a bed of roses.
Sometimes parenting is a bed of thorns.
Sometimes I know exactly where I’m going.
Sometimes I don’t know whether I’m coming or going.
Yet, the walks I take, the scenes my eyes frame, the photos I take, being in nature, always brings peace and comfort.

August 13 2020

Wonderful early morning walk. I love these lil fuzzy ornamental grasses. They glow in the sunlight.

No Longer a Valet While Watching Like a Hawk

August 13 2020

Another ‘to-do’ checked off during the two week break. Ordered and installed a new interior passenger door handle. After nearly a year, I no longer have to be a valet for Thomas! 🤣 Many times I forgot he couldn’t open the door, walking off and wondering why he wasn’t getting out of the car. He was not amused!

August 13 2020

It is time. I’ve got to get over my fear of what could potentially happen. Lillian needs foods chopped into small pieces or she will choke. The carrots and fruit were the last bit of her lunch making to take over for herself. Pray for me. Ha! This may do me in. Seriously, though, she is doing a fabulous job at keeping her fingertips and thumb out of the way.

PS … My comment is mostly tongue in cheek. I’ve taught and modeled the hold positions and watch her like a hawk when she’s cutting. A friend suggested having her watch some videos modeling technique, and think I’ll find some Youtube videos for her to watch too.

She’s doing a really good job with the form. She just doesn’t have much strength in her hands. So, carrots are a bit of a challenge.

Handmade Beauties By Veronica Coleman of Black Tag Bags

August 11 2020

Beauties received in the mail yesterday. Handmade by Veronica Coleman.

I finally got around to asking Ver to make a “purse” for Lillian (been on my to do list for months). Lillian chose the blue mermaid fabric from Veronica’s collection and I shared measurements and photos of what Lillian has been using. When I asked how to pay, Surprise!! Another friend had already paid for it! Thank you, Kimberly!!!

When looking through Veronica’s collection on Black Tag Bag, I came across these gorgeous cloths she’s making, with one side microfiber, the other a super soft cotton. I was getting ready to buy microfiber cloths, which I cannot stand as they stick to my skin. Genius idea to sew popping cotton patterns on one side! So I ordered me a set. They are so pretty!! Thank you Veronica for your beautiful and fast work!

Movie Night: Spider-Man – Far From Home

August 9 2020

Movies! Watched a few good ones.

Spider-man – Far From Home – Thomas’s choice … Second time around for this one. Finished off our year long adventure of watching all of the Marvel Avenger movies, from the beginning.

Thomas says, “It was good.”

I say, “Another great movie to see for a second time. I have so much loved watching these with Thomas.”