Throwback Post: Major Meltdown

**THROWBACK POST**

December 6 2013:

Sweet Lillian had a major melt down the other morning. Oh my word! I realize how much Thomas is looking to me to see how I respond and how to respond when she’s lost it. There is no speaking to her. One must wait until she has calmed. As she was in her room trying to get calm, I explained to Thomas that she is going through puberty on top of having a decreased ability to control and handle her response when things don’t go as she wants them to … due to her chromosome abnormality. At times it is difficult for me to control my response!

What seems to be working during this phase is to flood my thoughts and heart with love and compassion and respond softly. This does not mean I do not respond when Lillian blames me and Thomas for how she chooses to react. I gently let her know that absolutely no one controls what she says and does but her. I give her suggestions like taking deep breaths, counting, going to her room, reading a book, changing what she’s thinking about, drinking some water.

Thomas has a great deal of anxiety when Lillian is unhappy or having a melt down. I attempt to show him by my reaction that we want to not let our emotions/attitude be controlled by other people and their emotions. I explain that I know it’s difficult at times and that if we are at least aware of this, then we can be more helpful by focusing on a solution when needed. Otherwise, Lillian has had great days all this week! Love and hugs y’all! xoxo

For years I have been making a shift to more mindful living. By no means do I have this perfected and there are times when I’m less than happy with my chosen response! However, when I do offer an “icky” response, I don’t beat myself up about it. I take note of it, release it and move on …

I sometimes over react too. I forgive myself, apologize to others and release it. We know that anything we say in anger is not coming from our true selves. Our true self only knows love and compassion. Oceans of love and hugs to all y’all!! xoxo

Honestly, there are times I would like to stick my head in the sand and pretend I don’t have kids …. And then, in the thick of the dramatic moment and in times of calm, I look deep into Lillian’s or Thomas’s eyes and we truly “see” one another. We each know that there’s no need to play games or “do” drama …. that’s not who we truly are …

2015 update:

It’s been 2 years since I posted this. It served as a good reminder when it popped up in memories. I’m still working on the blog post about the current journey with Ms. Lillian. I’d love to say that this got better. Yet, in fact it got worse (the melt downs became volatile last December 2014). We are making really good progress with psychotherapy (focused on mindfulness, recognizing emotions, and CBT).

Thomas does indeed still have anxiety when she has a meltdown turned explosion. Yet, he has learned the art of distraction. He tries his best using this method. Plus, he’s even used it on me! It’s been a journey of growth and learning. It’s been perfect and is happening exactly as it should be! Lillian has been the teacher that brought mindfulness into our life and that is a true blessing! Hugs to all y’all! xoxo


(Recent photo of Lillian, on one of our walks)

**September 2020 Update** 

I’m happy to write that things have gotten better! Lillian began using botanical oils in 2017, and once I got the dosage and timing figured out, it has helped tremendously. She still does have the occasional volatile melt down, but not nearly as often. I’m sure that maturity has helped a bit, too. Yet, still waiting for that to kick in a bit more.

Vegan Eats: Who Remembers Funyuns and Coconut Jerky

July 20 2020

Who remembers Funyuns? They were one of my favorite junk foods growing up. To me, these Vegan Rob’s Brussel Sprout Puffs taste like Funyuns. It absolutely doesn’t taste like Brussels sprout. Ha! I like all of the flavors, but this one is my favorite. Bonus: I like the ingredients, too!

August 15 2020

When you post about one of your vegan finds and a friend mails you bunches of said find! Plus, some yummy CBD tea. Thanks, Kimberly!!

No Longer a Valet While Watching Like a Hawk

August 13 2020

Another ‘to-do’ checked off during the two week break. Ordered and installed a new interior passenger door handle. After nearly a year, I no longer have to be a valet for Thomas! 🤣 Many times I forgot he couldn’t open the door, walking off and wondering why he wasn’t getting out of the car. He was not amused!

August 13 2020

It is time. I’ve got to get over my fear of what could potentially happen. Lillian needs foods chopped into small pieces or she will choke. The carrots and fruit were the last bit of her lunch making to take over for herself. Pray for me. Ha! This may do me in. Seriously, though, she is doing a fabulous job at keeping her fingertips and thumb out of the way.

PS … My comment is mostly tongue in cheek. I’ve taught and modeled the hold positions and watch her like a hawk when she’s cutting. A friend suggested having her watch some videos modeling technique, and think I’ll find some Youtube videos for her to watch too.

She’s doing a really good job with the form. She just doesn’t have much strength in her hands. So, carrots are a bit of a challenge.

Handmade Beauties By Veronica Coleman of Black Tag Bags

August 11 2020

Beauties received in the mail yesterday. Handmade by Veronica Coleman.

I finally got around to asking Ver to make a “purse” for Lillian (been on my to do list for months). Lillian chose the blue mermaid fabric from Veronica’s collection and I shared measurements and photos of what Lillian has been using. When I asked how to pay, Surprise!! Another friend had already paid for it! Thank you, Kimberly!!!

When looking through Veronica’s collection on Black Tag Bag, I came across these gorgeous cloths she’s making, with one side microfiber, the other a super soft cotton. I was getting ready to buy microfiber cloths, which I cannot stand as they stick to my skin. Genius idea to sew popping cotton patterns on one side! So I ordered me a set. They are so pretty!! Thank you Veronica for your beautiful and fast work!

The First Week of Stay at Home Vacation

August 9 2020

The First Week – Stay at Home Vacation and Social Media Break

I was moved to write about the first week (July 26 – August 1, 2020), and now I know why. I feel so much better having simply gotten my thoughts out. I already know writing is therapeutic for me. However, that does not mean that I don’t fight it like mad sometimes.
Although I called the time away a vacation, if felt like anything but a vacation. The first day was fine. I read nearly the entire day. It’s been like a roller coaster ride of peaceful moments, moments of boredom, periods of sadness, and times of just not knowing what to do with myself.

I’m aware that each of these moments had an underlying cause. I’m still working through the why of all of it. Most times, I simply tried to let myself be with whatever I was feeling, as uncomfortable as it felt.

I really did not expect this to happen. I assumed I would have a lovely time, getting caught up on other tasks, and just taking it easy. For this reason, I am going to continue the break for the full two weeks. I popped into social media on Sunday the 2nd to respond to notifications, and did that a few more times throughout the week. However, I put off posting anything new until I returned fully on August 9th.

I did get much done that had been … Go here to read further …

The First Week – Stay at Home Vacation and Social Media Break

 

Bucket of Blood Saloon and the Sound of Wild Snails Eating – Camilla on A Little Book Problem

July 17 2020

I’m having Friday night drinks with Julie in the UK! Plus, we’re chattin’ about Mark Twain, Bucket of Blood Saloon, Billy Idol, Cyndi Lauper, Garden of the Gods, Lake Tahoe, and the sound of wild snails eating … Grab your drink and join us …

Friday Night Drinks with… Camilla Downs

 

Completion of the ABLE Account With a New Wall Switch

July 14 2020

Look what arrived! This completes setting up the ABLE account!!! Lillian now has her first debit card in her name!! Done! YAY!! Now. Time for a look at my estate planning and creating a Special Needs Trust.

July 25 2020

I’m so excited! They finally installed a wall switch to control the fan, instead of the remote control. (Too many folks on the same frequency. Which meant the light and fan speed would change randomly.) I was able to sleep with the fan on last night. Plus, complete control over the speed of the fan and the light. Woohahaha!! Yay!! Bonus: Now we have a dimmer option and an extra fan setting.

Oh, and I got distracted for about 15 minutes taking fan photos. Yep, I’m like that.

Night Angel With a Library Visited by an Orange and Colorful Bouquet of Sun

July 21 2020

Walk with Lillian last night. We’ll have to take this again in daylight. She and I have been taking our walks together after dinner once it’s cooled down.

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Just back from the library. It’s been a little over a month that we’ve been able to pick up books from the drive-through window at the library. Thankfully, the line has gotten shorter, the wait not as long. The first time it took an hour.

We sure do miss our volunteer time. We used to be here every Wednesday afternoon shelving books and pulling holds. Last I heard, volunteers would not be returning until January 2021. We miss the library and especially the folks at South Valleys Library. However …. YAY for library books!!

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Lillian looked outside and said the sun was shining orange. I’ve lived here long enough to know what that means. Fire about 4 miles from us in one direction. Dark cloud in the other direction, bringing about 5 minutes of heavy rain. More rain please!! Seems to be small. Confident they’re getting it under control.

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Sunset walk with Lillian. Took some photos before it got too dark. Great walk!

July 24 2020

Another wonderful sunset walk with Lilian yesterday. Not a fan of all the lighting, but sometimes it looks cool.

July 24 2020

Bought myself a bouquet of colorful flowers.