Do You Live Life with Abandon

January 15 2017:

Last one! Top 10 Countdown Finished! The Number TEN 2016 CamillaDowns.com blog post with the most views: “Why I Live Life With Abandon” …. xoxoxo ….

Another I’m blessed to have revisited just now. WOW!

Why I Live Life with Abandon

” …… My therapists have been the authors of the books I read. Two of my greatest teachers have been my kids, Thomas and Lillian. Other teachers have been the suffering brought on by my thoughts, beliefs, and ideas, and those with whom I have shared un-lovely moments. The friends I share absolutely everything with are nature, meditation, and my own version of praying …… “

BE the Change and Know Who You Are

November 9 2016:

I wrote this message after taking these pictures. We just got back from Lillian’s OT appointment and I was drawn to these two trees. Lillian and I laughed, and smiled, and took wonderful, inspiring pictures. A message inspired by nature …

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This afternoon from 1-3:45 I get to speak on a parent panel at UNR to students in the medical field. The class is titled Serving Individuals with Disabilities and their Families.

I may falter at times, yet I will continue to do this. I will continue to live from my heart. I will continue to meet anything that is the opposite of love with love and peace. I will continue to spread love, compassion, and non-judgment as that’s the only way I know how to BE anymore.

Even when I encounter others who have everything but kindness to share with me, I will leave my ego and mind and be in my heart. I will see past that person’s ego and see who they truly are. I will not argue. I will not go there.

I have two kids who watch how I react and how I show up in the world. I know that my words are meaningless without the living of those words by myself.

In the “Peace Lesson” I gave on Monday to a group of 4th-6th grade students, the first question I asked them after we defined peace was this: “Where do you think we find peace?” … Only two students offered to answer. One said, “In a sanctuary”. I agreed with him that a sanctuary could certainly be a peaceful place. The other. The other. She knew. Her answer … “In our heart.” That wonderful girl read my heart …

Peace does not begin with “the other”. “BE the change we wish to see in this world” is not an empty meaningless quote for me. BEing the change does not start only after another person changes. We cannot force others to be peaceful.

One other suggestion I shared with the kids: When someone wraps a beautiful package and offers to give it to you as a gift, and you decline to accept that gift; who is the owner of that gift? The gift remains with the person who tried to give it to you.

What if you considered unkind comments from others as a gift they were attempting to give you? And you decided not to accept that gift? The gift would remain with that person. I have taught Thomas and Lillian to respond to unkind comments with silence, or “Is that so?”, or “Okay” and to walk away. It truly, truly does not matter if that person thinks they are right. What matters is what you know in your heart and how you live and BE.

I gave an example from my own life. A couple of years ago, I was sitting next to someone who had been an everyday part of my life for ten years, someone I trusted and loved. That person chose to say over and over many unkind comments to me.

I finally turned to the person and said, “You know what? You are right about that. And you know what else? I have nothing but love to share with others and I will not argue. And, I am so deeply sorry that you feel so unloved.”

Obviously, I didn’t and don’t agree that this person was right. I simply let him relax into the feeling that his ego so desperately needed. After that the “conversation” ended.

I do not mean to say that we ignore when we feel worry, anxiety, and fear. Absolutely NOT. FEEL those feelings, physically feel them. This does mean to dwell on the reason for the feelings. That will not have the desired affect. Focus on how it physically feels. Sit with them. No matter how painful. Cry a river of tears if that’s needed.

For when we let ourselves physically feel these emotions, we then, and only then, will release them. Go stand barefoot in the grass, dirt, sand, or rocks and let Nature help you with this. It is truly magical. Oceans of love and hugs to everyone … xoxoxo

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Wednesday, November 9, 2016, was so incredibly strange as I was going through an internal shift all day and it was simply overflowed into my presentation

In the past I would have been bothered for at least 2 weeks by the way I presented myself. I feel it’s time to retire the facade and BE who we are … vulnerable, real people whose only true want is love, joy, and kindness … And it’s only a “want” because we haven’t realized we already have all that within us … Love you! xoxo

This afternoon from 1-3:45 I spoke on a parent panel at UNR (with 6 other Moms) to students getting a degree serving individuals with disabilities in one capacity or another. The class is titled Serving Individuals with Disabilities and their Families.

It was not my best “speaking”. My voice wavered, I was on the verge of tears, and wept at times. I’ve spoken so many times over the years about this topic and not presented in the same way as today. I’m usually firm and confident. Yet, I do not judge myself thinking I have done poorly. I was authentic.

When these students graduate, get their first job, and they have a parent(s) sitting across from them, there will be days when that parent will not be their best. They may be experiencing illness in the family, a marriage that’s crumbling, had a negative experience in the grocery store before the meeting, or experienced something world shifting that has caused them to know who they truly are at a deeper level.

Today I was authentic in a huge room full of people I do not know. On the drive home I cried so hard and deep I could hardly get my breath. A strange mixture of tears of sadness and joy all at the same time. Knowing a chasm had just opened in my heart to an even deeper level to let love flow in and out. A chasm of connection with all.

May we all let ourselves know who we truly are .. not what the mind or ego would have us believe. What we truly are ….. LOVE …. xoxo

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On the drive home I had an experience unlike anything I’ve ever experienced before. A true shift. A deepening of knowing. My heart was opened. Opened for more love to flow in and more love, compassion, and empathy to flow out.

I was crying hysterically and singing at the top of my lungs to this ….https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Da69-pu_pqc ….. and then a Stevie Nicks song. Since then everything seems so clear and pure. When I listen to songs, I’m hearing them like I’ve never heard them before. I’m singing and dancing and the love is overflowing within me.

I realized that I have an opportunity here. A golden opportunity to confront shadows still lurking within and have this be the catalyst to walk the talk and BE LOVE, to do what I came here to do .. And that is to share love in my own unique way ….

It was beautiful and authentic. Good thing the hysterical enlightenment and awakening waited until I was in the car and didn’t happen in front of those students. They only got a little taste of it!

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Angels and Monarch Butterflies and Adventures and Traveling

June 27 2016:

With my respite time tonight, I made myself a grand dinner … a lovely, big bowl of popcorn. This is how I get all wild n crazy when I have a night to myself … and then I proceeded to have the most beautiful experience.

I’ve written a blog post about it that felt like I’d been writing for about 30 minutes and it had been an hour and a half. It’s still in raw form, yet I felt moved to share a snippet ..

This morning a bayou Angel and her Mom came to my assistance. One who feels I am a gift to her in how I show up and live my life. As I sat eating my dinner of a lovely, big bowl of popcorn, I simply stared into the bowl at each kernel before eating it. As I scooped up and popped the last bit of popcorn into my mouth, the bayou Angel and I exchanged our last email for the day agreeing that our having re-connected was divinely arranged.

William Blake’s “To See A World … ” came to mind and it was as if the flood gates opened. Not only to let flow tears of knowing, tears of joy, and tears of love …. It was the flood gates of my entire life flowing out around me and wrapping me in the knowing that there have been no accidents in this life of mine.

“To see a World in a Grain of Sand
And a Heaven in a Wild Flower,
Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand
And Eternity in an hour.” ~William Blake

It has been divinely laid out. Every encounter, every relationship, every friendship. I saw the synchronicity of having lived 3 years of my life in Houma Louisiana in the mid 80’s, the deep unhappiness of my family life at that time and how the friendships I formed were my saving grace. Not only a saving grace back in the mid 80’s, a saving grace in the year 2013 and 2016. Unbeknownst to me a mutual, symbiotic relationship of one inspiring the other and one becoming a messenger angel for the other.

Everything that I have experienced ….. ” More after I clean it up a bit. It was poring out of me so fast … That was some bowl of popcorn!! xoxoxo

Popcorn June 27 2016

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June 28 2016:

She’s still at it …. and she’s good! Another from Lillian … xoxo

“When you or someone else is calm, you will feel a lot better. You will be more confident and relaxed. You will be happy, mindful, grateful, thankful and joyful.

Take a moment to read this quote. If you want to, share it with family, friends, and relatives.

“Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” – Buddha … “ https://lilliandarnell.com/2016/06/21/emotions-with-animals-calm-monarch-butterflies/

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June 30 2016:

My words from this time last year (below) …. May the words inspire and encourage those whom it is meant for … xoxoxo

Still so meaningful to me as we are about to embark on our longest road trip so far in Team TLC history, still not knowing with certainty how we will pay for it all, and when we get back, we’ll be deciding by the end of July on the course of a new adventure …

The need to know when, how, where, and what next; can at times, be the very block that keeps us from fully experiencing life and experiencing it as our true selves … minus the ideas and beliefs of others.

words from June 2015: “Team TLC has come to the end of a chapter in our adventures and we embark on a new chapter. This chapter will be a living-in-the-moment adventure, with intentions of it being FUN and memorable.

I don’t have plans, I don’t know where we’ll live after the summer with the Romano Duo, I don’t know exactly what will happen. I am not always okay with this, but mostly I am. I feel the desire to know exactly how things will happen and the worry that accompanies this are just fears.

In the past I’ve spent a great deal of time confronting and connecting with these and other fears and they no longer have power within me. I know these fears are not the true me and as long as I live from the heart with love as the foundation of all actions, I, and the rest of Team TLC, will be blessed and affluent.

I DO know where I want to live and have much clarity about the role I am to play in being of service. That is all I need to know for now. Connecting with emotions, specifically fear, has been one of the most empowering “non-actions” I have ever taken …. May you choose to connect with any emotion that holds you back.

I know everything will be okay and worry has no hold on me. That’s not to say that worry is no longer present in my life. I am now able to recognize worries, fears, anger, complaining, the desire to be right and have someone else be wrong, as simply the ego throwing a tantrum because I am stepping into my power.

The world is a beautiful love-filled place and none of us were meant to suffer. Our suffering is self imposed with the thoughts that we consciously and unconsciously choose to think. I have chosen to go deep, clear out all the crud and live at a deeper level. xoxo”

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July 2 2016:

Team TLC will be traveling the blue route, in the attached screen shot, from Reno to San Antonio. We’ll be leaving either this coming Thursday or Friday.

Do we have any friends along this route who would be interested in letting us borrow a bed or couch for a night’s sleep? We’ll be driving anywhere from 6-9 hours each day for 3 days … depending on where we stop for the day. Oceans of love and gratitude .. xoxo

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