Throwback Post: Meltdowns All the Way Around

**THROWBACK POST**

December 11 2017:

After an extremely rough afternoon, what a blessing to receive a sweet, loving, kind, and generous message. Just the push I needed to bring on the sobbing so I could connect and release.

When you have one with difficulties in the executive functions area, it is nearly impossible to suggest spur of the moment activities. In Lillian’s case a meltdown is going to happen 95% of the time.

Yet, I continue to try. We have a blu-ray Christmas movie to watch from the library as they had no regular DVD of this movie.

I figured we could watch it at the lodge in the theater as their equipment will play blu-ray. (I use a really old portable DVD player plugged into a projector for our movie watching as we don’t have a TV.)

I looked on the library website and saw we would have to return the movie on Wednesday so I suggested we head on over and watch it. Well, at the same time, I must have given my patience a vacation. And, invited every worry and concern that has been bothering me over the past three months.

Two kids having meltdowns, one mom having an outburst, and two hours later. We are still out of sorts but this wonderful and generous message was exactly what my heart needed.

Sharing for anyone else who is having an off day, anyone who gave their patience the day off, or anyone who invited worry and concerns to cloud their day. From one human to another; I share a loving, warm, heart hug with you. And say, You are not alone. Be still. And know. xoxo

Follow up thoughts:

I find for myself when I am already in “Why me victim mode” and my thoughts are full of worries and concerns that having nothing to do with a current incident. That’s when I lose it. So when not in that meltdown moment I practice mindfulness and meditation and walks in nature so that I can have a balanced and peaceful perspective most times. Yet, we are human, so that’s not going to happen every time. And. That. Is. Okay. xoxo

I have felt incredibly out of sorts and in a huge fog lately. Along with some anxiety. I know when I feel anxiety it is usually due to something surfacing that it would be best for me to connect with so as to release. Sometimes I forget that, though, and resist.

Most times if I would quit trying to row the boat and just let that sweet little boat float through life, peace would be more consistent. For, I fully believe that life knows what its doing and has my back. xoxo

**November 2022 Update** I simply want to add that five years later we’ve come a long way. My perception of life has shifted a bit from where I was in 2017. That was the place I need to be in that moment. 

Throwback Post: One Loving or Liked Quality

**THROWBACK POST**

June 1 2015:

We did something new last night rather than our traditional compliment cards. First, we did a 5 or 10 minute mindfulness exercise. Then we each thought of and wrote down one loving and/or liked quality of each other. I read each one aloud and we discussed what that meant for each of us. That was so inspiring and amazing.

Thomas’ qualities: How flexible he is and how thoughtful he is. Lillian’s qualities: She can be fun and her love of reading. Camilla’s qualities: She makes me feel loved and she tells me stuff like this. This made for such heartfelt and fun conversation! Give it a try! xoxo

Throwback Post: The Dance of Craziness

**THROWBACK POST**

July 24 2016:

Finally getting to work on the blog post(s) about the trip. I’ve already been posting on our Team TLC website, yet this one will be on my own website and completely different. Here’s a snippet …

” …. Thoughts of us being stranded due to car problems kept entering my thoughts like a dark storm cloud encroaching on the brightest of days. Thoughts of the lack of finances for this trip took their turn in the dance also.

Not to be left out of the dance, thoughts of my insanity at attempting this cut into the dance too. All of this dance to be completed with the veil of anxiety and worry weaving in and out like a breeze blowing through the trees.

Thankfully, I am a student of mindfulness and emotional connection. And, since there was nothing else to do but sit and drive, I took this opportunity to put these practices to work. It was a rapturous dance between being mindful, connecting with emotions, and embracing the fear wanting to dance with me … ” Must take a break now for lunch and getting this place cleaned up! xoxoxo

Here’s the link to the full post …

A Rapturous Dance With Life

The Chromosome 18 Blog is Live – Dear Meltdown by Camilla Downs

April 13 2022

The brand new Chromosome 18 blog is now live, with one of my older writings having been posted. It’s the writing I submitted to, and was accepted by, Elephant Journal back in the day.

Dear Meltdown…

Anger is like a storm rising up from the bottom of your consciousness. When you feel it coming, turn your focus to your breath. ~Thich Nhat Hanh

Dear Meltdowns,

Welcome and Meet My Friend Mindfulness

Sometimes I’m able to sense when you’re lurking in the shadows. Sometimes I’m not. And you sneak up like a cat stalking its prey.

You penetrate the peace of an otherwise tranquil day like an earthquake suddenly rocking and rolling in the middle of a quiet night’s sleep. You are the complete opposite of fun and joy.

You are loud, aggressive, physically harmful, and verbally malicious. You lack compassion, empathy, and kindness. You take all actions and words personally.

What I want you to know is that I welcome you. Not like I’d welcome my best friend coming over for coffee and chatting. I welcome you like one later appreciates a grumpy relative during the holidays knowing that being around this person can help us to learn more about our own triggers.

You are helping us to know what emotions and …..

https://www.chromosome18.org/dear-meltdown-camilla-downs

 

Throwback Post: I Do Things Differently

**THROWBACK POST**

August 10 2013:

Lillian just got done asking me why I do things differently than other Moms. Her questions were about how I make coffee … using a French Press and that I hand wash the dishes instead of use the dishwasher.

Thomas then adds, “I like that you are different. You’re not ordinary. You are extraordinary.” These two so bless me and can snap me back out of a funk instantly. They have a knack for sharing my own advice with me when I need it most!


(Team TLC 2013)

**March 2022 Update** Looking back, this post seems kind of arrogant on my part. *Note to self* … Ha! When my French press broke, I switched to pour over coffee (December 2019), and have been using since then. Luckily, I haven’t broken it yet! 

As for the dishes, I switched to hand washing as I was adding mindfulness to my daily tasks. Hand washing dishes is a wonderful mindfulness practice.

Throwback Post: Ask for Help – A Pebble for Your Pocket

**THROWBACK POST**

August 13 2015:

Ask for help and you shall receive …

Thomas got angry the other night and it was spilling out of him in unkind ways. He asked me for help in getting past the moment and was not liking anything I suggested. It was time for our nightly reading and “A Pebble for Your Pocket” is what we are currently reading.

I opened to where we had stopped the night before and this is where we were to begin again, “When We Are Angry”. Thomas stopped me after reading the title and halfway through the first sentence and said that I had chosen that on purpose. “No, Thomas, I did not. This is where we stopped last night. You asked for help and here it is.”

I felt his energy shift just from hearing this. He was glued to the entire section. May you be open to receive the answers you ask for too! LOVE!! xoxo

Throwback Post: Doing it Differently

**THROWBACK POST**

August 21 2013:

Lillian just recently asked me why I do things differently than other Moms. Her questions were about how I make coffee … using a French Press and that I hand wash the dishes instead of use the dishwasher. Thomas then adds, “I like that you are different. You’re not ordinary. You are extraordinary.” These two so bless me and can snap me back out of a funk instantly. They have a knack for sharing my own advice with me when I need it most!


(Camilla in 2013 during a hike with Thomas)


(Thomas and Lillian 2013)

I try to remind Thomas, Lillian and myself is that no one is more special or better than we are and we are not better or more special than anyone else. We all just ARE. Every one of us is doing the best we can with where we are in our life. We are all different and we all have a gift that is uniquely ours. I just am crazy enough to have thrown caution out the window, along with anyone else’s reality in my quest to create my own reality, discover and love this person known as Camilla, live a simple, natural, inspired life and be ME!

**March 7 2021 Update** 

When we moved into our new place just over a year ago, I began using the dishwasher again. I had a double sink and a dishwasher that was very old and useless at actually cleaning dishes. I decided to hand wash to conserve energy, and to use as a time for practicing mindfulness.

With our new place, came a brand new dishwasher, that actually cleans the dishes!! We no longer have a double sink and the sink is actually quite small. After about 7 years of hand washing the dishes, it was time! (Although, I still do not use the microwave. I discontinued using it in 2010, I think. I do use the timer on it, quite handy. 

I continue to like my coffee made in a simple way. My french press broke near the end of 2019. I switched to a pour over style, and I’m loving it! 

My Entire Life Dissolved by Camilla Downs

December 11 2018:

Last Tuesday my entire life dissolved. It simply disappeared like sugar in boiling water. Who I am, who I thought myself to be disintegrated. In my mind’s eye, I could see creations and events literally crumbling. Have you ever had that happen?

Being me, I view this as the only way I know how … As a deeply spiritual experience. And I am grateful to be traveling this path … uncomfortable experiences, and all.

It left this one saturated with confusion and pain. I had been 

My Entire Life Dissolved

 

When Things Come Together by Camilla Downs

October 20 2018:

When Things Come Together

And she began the walk
The walk of only she,
breathing in, knowing she was breathing in
breathing out, knowing she was breathing out

She listened to the sounds of
the stillness
the song birds
the beeping construction equipment
the roar of an airplane overhead
the creak and pop of the plastic fence
the screech of the …..

Poetry and Photography: When Things Come Together