December 11 2017:
After an extremely rough afternoon, what a blessing to receive a sweet, loving, kind, and generous message. Just the push I needed to bring on the sobbing so I could connect and release.
When you have one with difficulties in the executive functions area, it is nearly impossible to suggest spur of the moment activities. In Lillian’s case a meltdown is going to happen 95% of the time.
Yet, I continue to try. We have a blu-ray Christmas movie to watch from the library as they had no regular DVD of this movie.
I figured we could watch it at the lodge in the theater as their equipment will play blu-ray. (I use a really old portable DVD player plugged into a projector for our movie watching as we don’t have a TV.)
I looked on the library website and saw we would have to return the movie on Wednesday so I suggested we head on over and watch it. Well, at the same time, I must have given my patience a vacation. And, invited every worry and concern that has been bothering me over the past three months.
Two kids having meltdowns, one mom having an outburst, and two hours later. We are still out of sorts but this wonderful and generous message was exactly what my heart needed.
Sharing for anyone else who is having an off day, anyone who gave their patience the day off, or anyone who invited worry and concerns to cloud their day. From one human to another; I share a loving, warm, heart hug with you. And say, You are not alone. Be still. And know. xoxo
Follow up thoughts:
I find for myself when I am already in “Why me victim mode” and my thoughts are full of worries and concerns that having nothing to do with a current incident. That’s when I lose it. So when not in that meltdown moment I practice mindfulness and meditation and walks in nature so that I can have a balanced and peaceful perspective most times. Yet, we are human, so that’s not going to happen every time. And. That. Is. Okay. xoxo
I have felt incredibly out of sorts and in a huge fog lately. Along with some anxiety. I know when I feel anxiety it is usually due to something surfacing that it would be best for me to connect with so as to release. Sometimes I forget that, though, and resist.
Most times if I would quit trying to row the boat and just let that sweet little boat float through life, peace would be more consistent. For, I fully believe that life knows what its doing and has my back. xoxo
**November 2022 Update** I simply want to add that five years later we’ve come a long way. My perception of life has shifted a bit from where I was in 2017. That was the place I need to be in that moment.