November 13 2017:
The key for me has been the understanding that I have no idea what I’m doing … HA! ….
Improvising like crazy; and, in fact, letting myself BE Crazy! Along with finally understanding if something comes from my heart, it is always to be trusted and the right thing to do.
And as much as possible not giving a hoot what anyone else thinks … xoxo
A Drive Down Memory Lane
Why did the beautiful and fun
memories hurt so badly
Why did her chest feel
heavy and her stomach in knots
The place where she and
her children had spent
seven years of their lives.
The place where her son
spent his young life
from one year old
through eight years old.
Driving past the many sidewalks
and trail where she had taken
walks alone, walks with
just her son, and walks
together as a family.
Driving past the home
her parents had lived in,
the home she and her kids had lived in,
the second home her parents had lived.
Remembering ….. Continue Reading Here …
**THROWBACK POST**
October 31 2013:
I’m down to 743 unread messages in the great 2013 email purge y’all! Just found a fun email that Lillian sent to me in January 2013 and my response to her … It’s a keeper! That girl is on FIRE!! xoxo
From Lillian: Camilla’s questions
1. What is your job?
2. How did you become famous?
3. Did you have problems?
4. Would you get rich in your life-time?
My Responses: 1) First, I am a guide and mentor for Thomas and Lillian. My purpose is to spread love and kindness to all those I encounter, to write, and to guide special needs parents and anyone who needs my guidance.
2) By being ME!
3) Any problems I’ve ever had were opportunities for me to learn and grow.
4) I am already rich!!! And I do plan on being financially independent very soon!
Camilla
**Update** November 20 2017 – What a GREAT reminder this served for me this morning! Love it!
Reiki is a Japanese technique for stress reduction and relaxation that can also contribute to healing. It is a form of energy work and balancing the chakras. It was discovered by Mikao Usui in March 1922.
It’s pronounced “ray-key” and most of my clients experience deep relaxation, similar to the benefits of meditation. I also incorporate a guided meditation during the session to correspond with areas that are called to be addressed.
Reiki: “I loved my session.” “Magical.” “Significant Change.” ….. Please reach out if you’re interested in a session!! xoxoxo
“The Way of Pain”
Experience the pain, we must.
Feel the pain, be with the pain,
so as to receive the shining gift
that awaits on the other side
of the pain.
Physical pain, emotional pain,
as long as we push against it,
fight against it, cover it up,
smother it, drown it with
numbing agents, we miss out
on the indescribable beauty
that awaits when we lovingly
embrace it and walk consciously
through it.
Pain is a ….
Love speaks
Love is silent
Love is colorful
Love is gray
Love rescues
Love gives life
Love carries the
Seed of compassion.
Love lives
For the open hearted
And for the ones
With closed hearts.
Love is always here
Patiently waiting
And loving.
Love,
The Seed Pod
xoxoxo
**THROWBACK POST**
October 21 2015:
What is emotional connection?
First, it is acceptance that negative emotions and discomfort are a part of us. Not running from them, squashing them with positivity, or feeling a failure for having them. Then it is connecting with the physical feeling negative emotions create within the body. Here’s an example:
As the morning progressed I found myself getting more and more irritated between running behind, Thomas’ teasing of Lillian and general mouthiness, Lillian’s non-stop complaining of aches and pains, and their arguing. By the time we left I was yelling at them.
After I got Lillian to physical therapy, I sat down in the car, looked at email and there was this e-card I had just received. It was the “snap” I needed to remind myself to connect with this irritation. I closed my eyes and focused on the physical sensations. My teeth were clenched, my jaws tight, neck and shoulders were tight.
As I focused on those, they gently released and I felt two pangs of pain in my heart. I focused on that and it released as well. Then it jumped back into my jaws and neck. I focused in that area once again and it released and I let out a big sigh. It has almost completely lifted now.
This took about 5 – 10 minutes. Sometimes it’s quicker. Sometimes longer. And sometimes it takes several sessions. It has been an interesting journey breaking the habit of wanting to analyze the emotion instead of feeling it. I’m extremely grateful and blessed to have learned this technique.
In times like this, I also ask to see things differently and ask for signs or clues to help me do this. I always receive exactly what was needed. If we don’t ask, how will we receive? I received the e-card, an email with the title, “Flying Off the Handle”, and the section of the book I’m currently reading spoke to this.
I had sent a “Thank you for thanking me” message to the sender of the e-card. She sent back a reply with another perfect message. For you, that this post speaks to, I’m sending oceans of love, hugs, and support. xoxo (Thank you again to the sweet friend who listened when she was urged to send the e-card!)
**THROWBACK POST**
October 17 2014:
I subbed today at High Desert Montessori in lower elementary (1st-3rd grade) where they were completing the Caine’s Arcade Cardboard Box Challenge – http://cainesarcade.com/. An event arranged, organized and lead by a 3rd grader named Thomas Darnell. He approached his teacher, gathered all the information, put together fliers, and went to all the other lower el classrooms to let them know about it. And, spent a lot of time yesterday helping other kids make their creations.
Today he helped clean up the gigantic mess from all the fun. I absolutely support whatever education style is best for each child and I’m a HUGE believer in the Maria Montessori method. It works for both of my kids. One who lags a bit behind and one who is pretty far advanced.
from the below article … “A number of the innovative entrepreneurs also went to Montessori schools, where they learned to follow their curiosity,” Mr. Gregersen said. “To paraphrase the famous Apple ad campaign, innovators not only learned early on to think different, they act different (and even talk different).”
https://blogs.wsj.com/ideas-market/2011/04/05/the-montessori-mafia/
**Update** November 8 2017: Both Thomas and Lillian are homeschooled now. This is Thomas’ second year and I’ve lost count for Lillian … Our current method is unschooling, child led schooling, interest based learning … it has many names.
Thomas attended HDMS for 1st – 4th grade and it was the perfect fit for him! During his 4th grade year I sensed it was time for something different to allow him to stay connected to his soul purpose and not be distracted by conformity.
Lillian attended HDMS for 2 and 1/2 years. At that point, she made it clear that she needed something different. And, I listened …
October 17 2017:
Just got home and I am so full of warm fuzzy feelings. I had to make a quick run to the library tonight to return some items in the after hours drop. It would have taken about 15 minutes round trip.
Instead of driving alone, I invited Thomas and Lillian to come along so we could make it into an adventure. It reminded me so much of when they were younger and we made every single trip in the car into an adventure.
We drove to the library and I took a different and longer way home. As I was driving, Thomas asked where to next. I thought, you got that right.
So we took a drive down memory lane and then some. Turned a 15 minute run to the library into an hour long adventure.
I Loved That. I Love It. I love how crazy I am. I love that I bust out in song, in verse, in rhyme simply in conversation with them.
I love how things Thomas and Lillian say cause me to think about songs or movies and I bust out with movie titles or singing crazy songs.
I love it when I cause Lillian to laugh so hard she’s crying. I love how fast I can improvise and I love when we are all in sync with being spontaneous!
This message brought to you by … Love …. We now return you to your normal programming ….. xoxoxoxo
A Short Story (Inspired by the alchemy from Wednesday nights Alchemist Theatre) Perhaps have your favorite, spooky music playing in the background … And look at the large version of the photo … Pretty COOL!
The Three Ghosts
She opened her eyes and saw three ghost like figures covered in nearly translucent and tattered bed sheets.
Slowly and with thinly veiled fear she approached the first figure. She asked what it had to impart to her.
She intuitively knew she had to lift the sheet to learn the answer. The fear had welled to a point where she knew if something didn’t happen to halt it, the anxiety would overtake her mind.
With trembling hands she delicately and slowly lifted the sheet. With utter surprise and sheer awe she saw that the figure held the message of strength and was only patiently waiting for her to retrieve the gift of Strength.
The figure handed her a black cube which she instinctively knew was to be absorbed by her entire body. “For I will be your strength. It is I who move you to do the things you know not why you are moved to do them. This cube represents the Strength that has always been within your heart.”
Years of “me too” led her to believe she was not strong and should not stand up for what she believed in her heart. By absorbing the gifted cube, she would release all that she had boxed within.
She claimed this gift of Strength and knew it would never leave her.
With an air of conviction she approached the next figure. With much less timid hands she lifted the sheet. This figure revealed to her how ….. Go here to read more …