Asking for Help is Never Easy – With Gratitude

January 16 2023

I’ve had to ask for help so many times throughout these years, I feel like folks have had enough of me! But at the urging of friends and after working through even more embarrassment, guilt and shame, I’m asking for help.

If I could get Thomas’s orthodontist bill paid off, I would be able to afford a car payment.
During a break between storms on the evening of January 2nd, the roads were clear and it had stopped snowing.

I decided it would be okay to take Thomas (my 17-year-old) to a previously scheduled evening appointment.

While Thomas was in his appointment, it began to snow. We were nearly home when I lost control of the car on ice. Miraculously we slid across the 4 lanes of the highway without hitting another car, and without a car hitting us.

The car slammed into the highway barrier. Airbags deployed but we were fine, other than getting punched in the face with the airbags leaving us bruised and a little bloody.

I was knocked silly and couldn’t think straight. Thomas. That amazing person. He was on top of it. He said something like, “Okay. We’re breathing. We’re both conscious. Nothing is broken. But I’m bleeding. Should I call 911?”

Highway patrol stopped traffic so I could get to the other side of the shoulder as I was facing oncoming traffic on the opposite shoulder.

Once they saw the car was somewhat operable, they escorted me to the mall parking lot where Remsa finished checking us. I was so close to our place, the patrol officer said it was okay to drive the car home.

The car looks absolutely fine from behind. But it is totaled. I had a mechanic come look at it, and it’s not worth it to fix. The front end shifted by about a foot!

I’ve had this car since 2008 – fourteen years! It came into our life when we had been without a car for nearly two years. I had planned on passing it to Thomas this summer. I’ve had to grieve over my plans getting messed up, and now I have to buy a new car. I needed to wait until I had finished paying for Thomas’s orthodontic work, and dental work I’ve been having done.

I had to keep …

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-team-tlc-get-a-car

January 18 2023

The sky this afternoon. I wonder what tonight’s weather has in store?

Thank you for the loving kindness. I’ve written this sentence many times over the past couple of days. Last night I read a passage in a book I’m re-reading that stood out. I thought I’d share it with you.

“Loving-kindness is bringing happiness to other persons; compassion means relieving their suffering. The key that opens the door to loving-kindness and compassion is our capacity to understand our own suffering and difficulties, and the suffering and difficulties of others.”

I’m deeply grateful to everyone who has shared love, hugs, kind words, and donated. Your loving kindness and compassion mean so very much. Thank you, thank you, thank you. xoxo

The Interrupted Vegetable Soup

January 14 2022

This is a delicious vegetable and bean soup I made on Monday, January 2nd. I never posted it, and have been quiet on social media since then. When I go quiet on social media, it’s usually not a good thing. I’ve gone within and am processing.

I’ve had to work through embarrassment, guilt and shame before sharing with everyone. During a break between storms on the evening of January 2nd, the roads were clear and it had stopped snowing.

I decided it would be okay to take Thomas to a previously scheduled evening appointment. Our car is a 2 wheel drive, with the option to shift into 4 wheel drive so winter weather has never been a problem.

While Thomas was in his appointment, it began to snow. On the drive back the car began to malfunction, slipping out of 4 wheel drive. We were nearly home when I lost control of the car on ice. Miraculously we slid across the 4 lanes of highway without hitting another car, and without a car hitting us.

The car slammed into the highway barrier. Airbags deployed but we were fine, other than getting punched in the face with the airbags. The damn car was still running after all that!

I was knocked silly and couldn’t think straight. Thomas. That amazing person. He was on top of it. He said something like, “Okay. We’re breathing. We’re both conscious. Nothing is broken. But, I’m bleeding. Should I call 911?” (The airbag scratched his face.) Remsa checked us out. We all decided there was no need to go to the hospital.

Highway patrol stopped traffic so I could get to the other side of the shoulder as I was facing oncoming traffic on the opposite shoulder.

Once they saw the car was operable, they escorted me to the mall parking lot where Remsa finished checking us. I was so close to our place, the patrol officer said it was okay to drive the car home.

The car looks absolutely fine from behind. But it is totaled. I had a mechanic come look at it yesterday, and it’s not worth it to fix. The front end shifted by about a foot! It still runs though! It is a beast! Ha!

I’ve had this car since 2008 – fourteen years! It came into our life when we had been without a car for nearly two years. I had planned on passing it to Thomas this summer. I’ve had to grieve over my plans getting screwed, and now I have to buy a new car. I really needed to wait until I had finished paying for Thomas’s orthodontic work, and dental work I’ve been having done. Grrrr!

I had to keep reminding myself that Thomas and I came home that night, and walked into our house. That was truly a blessing. We had some incredibly scary looking bruises, but they have healed. I took photos of my bruises, and fat lip; which I shared with mom and Frank. I don’t want to trigger anyone with the photos though.

Why have I had to process embarrassment, guilt, and shame? Those of you who know me, know that it’s been a journey for me to not feel this way when things go wrong, or don’t go as I planned.
These were consistent feelings for me as a child, growing up, and into adulthood. A few years ago, I finally got to a place where I had released most of that. However, this was an unexpected, crisis situation. There was no stopping those feelings.

I usually end these personal kinds of posts saying something like I’m not posting for sympathy. That’s the case with this one, too. But I really don’t know why I’m sharing this. I guess just because my heart wanted to share. I do welcome love, hugs, and positive thoughts about my finances.

Who knows? Maybe there’s something in this long winded post that speaks to someone??!!
xoxo

**Adding** Thank you for taking the time to read my post and for sharing in this moment with me.

I want to add that after about 10 years of chronic economic anxiety, I have a difficult time making a huge financial decision. I swing between being impulsive and indecisive with the what ifs swirling in my thoughts like a tornado. It is exhausting, with having gone through the day in a foggy soup of decisiveness and indecisiveness.

Add to this my current health difficulties and this neurodivergent brain, life has me in not a very good place mentally. Thank you to everyone for the love and support. xoxo

Throwback Post: Countdown to Moving With an Inspiring Sunset Bracelet and New Beginnings With Books

**THROWBACK POST**

June 22 2016:

The countdown is on! The Romano Duo left this morning on their way to Reno! Due to arrive on Saturday! Thomas and Lillian have been counting down since we last saw them at Christmas. YAY!

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June 22 2015:

Just made another trip to The Romano Casa. Getting excited for moving day this Friday.


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June 22 2013:

Two more cool pictures from last night’s sunset. Sooooooo beautiful. It’s clear why Thomas thought it would be awesome to have a roof that opens so we could see this inspiring sky from inside the house!


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Sandra wanted wild n crazy purple … so she got black lava and purple mother of pearl! Thank you tons and tons for your support! Sandra is a new FB friend and not a part of the “C18 family”. We are blessed by her kindness! It’s on the way to you Sandra!!


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June 22 2012:

Just got back from taking Thomas to the bus stop for the last time … Bye, Bye Kindergarten and Brown Elementary …. New school next year for first grade and I get to be the “bus driver” for Thomas and Lillian!

Thomas 6.22.12

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Mailing more books … Some amazing clouds out there today!!

The Hard Part – Asking for Help

This was hard for me to do. But, here it is. xoxo

Thomas has a severe overbite, and needs orthodontic treatment to help correct it.

The overbite not only effects his inability to have lip closure, it affects how he chews food, and contributes to his negative body image. This is a huge investment, but necessary for Thomas’s overall dental, medical, and psychological well being.

Thomas’s treatment involves installing a herbst appliance to his lower jaw; which will remain for about a year. Three months after the herbst appliance is installed, upper braces are affixed. When the herbst appliance is removed, lower braces are affixed. After about a year, the braces will be removed, and he’ll wear a retainer for a while, finishing with wearing a retainer while sleeping. The entire process will be about two years.

The total cost of the treatment is about $7,900.00. The down payment for the treatment is nearly $2,000, with monthly payments thereafter for 32 months. The down payment is the reason for this fundraiser. On the optimistic side, I think I can handle the monthly payments. It may be a struggle at times, but absolutely worth it for Thomas.

More about us: We are a family of three, and we call ourselves Team TLC. T for Thomas, L for Lillian (Thomas’s older sibling), and C for Camilla. I’ve single parented Thomas and Lillian since Thomas was 1 year old. Lillian has a disability by way of a chromosome deletion, called 18p-.

Thomas has just recently been diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and autism; along with having a high IQ. We have already been addressing one of these issues, and will make our way through getting Thomas the help he needs. He currently attends an online school, and has a 4.0 average.

If you would like to support us by purchasing any of our books, they are all on Amazon.

And if you would like to learn more about our family you can go here, https://theteamtlc.com/, or have a look around my website and blog.

You can donate through Gofundme (below) or PayPal at http://www.PayPal.me/CamillaDowns or Venmo @CamillaDowns …

Throwback Post: Honeysuckle With Bracelets in Savannah Georgia

**THROWBACK POST**

May 31 2013:

Just back from a beautiful and inspiring walk. I got to walk by 2 yards that have honeysuckle. I floated home on a cloud of intoxicating honeysuckle scent. There’s no telling what I’ll do. If you see me floating by, throw me a smile! Gosh, I LOVE the smell of honeysuckle!! Visions of my childhood flooded my mind and heart! Now … I’m gonna sit and write for a bit. Happy, Beautiful Friday Y’all!

Honeysuckle May 2013

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It’s a GREAT day to mail Roxane and Roberta their custom created Team TLC bracelet. Thanks tons Roxane and Roberta for your support of Team TLC’s mission to get to Savannah this July for the Chromosome 18 Conference!

Here’s the fun little message they are receiving with the bracelet …

Ingredients: One WearAble Inspiration bracelet to help make you feel gosh darn good and inspire creativity.

Dosage: Wear daily as needed.

Side Effects: Good feelings, good memories and creativity.

Instructions: Remove from package, visualize what the bracelet represents for you, slide over fingers and onto wrist and unleash your creativity.

Y’all enjoy the simple beauty of the bracelet, be inspired and have FUN!!

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Just made our room reservations for the Chromosome 18 Conference in Savannah, Georgia this July … I don’t know where the funds will come from to pay for this trip .. but when have I ever let that stop me??? I wouldn’t have an Amazon best selling book if I did … I told y’all I got intoxicated from that yummy honeysuckle smell during my walk earlier.

“What is more mortifying than to feel that you have missed the plum for want of courage to shake the tree?” -Logan P. Smith

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Thank you Peg Flowe! We just got our mail. Bless you, Bless YOU!! Thanks for your support of Team TLC’s mission to get to the 20th Annual Chromosome 18 Conference! We will get FOUR Team TLC bracelets to you within the next week to 2 weeks at the most! You are so in for the biggest warmest hug!! 🙂

Thank You and Updated the Fundraiser

July 21 2019:

Thank you to everyone who has shared and supported this effort!! I continue to be in awe of those who support us, as many times I don’t feel worthy or deserving. So, truly and deeply, I offer oceans of gratitude.

I have updated the fundraiser regarding what is to follow once not that we have returned to Reno …. Much love to all of you!

https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-lillian-spread-her-wings&rcid=r01-156607985251-71b2fd18a0e54204&pc=ot_co_campmgmt_w

Unicorn Magic by Lillian Darnell

July 7 2019:

My daughter is fundraising to help pay for she, her brother, and myself to attend a family conference related to her chromosome deletion …. 18p-. It’s the Chromosome 18 Family Conference and this year it’s in Colorado Springs, Colorado USA.

She will create a custom poem especially for you and the donation amount is entirely up to you. This one was a request for a unicorn themed poem from my friend Karen in Mississippi.

Pease share with others you know who may wish to support Lillian. Thank you!!

Unicorn Magic

Unicorns dance like clouds
Leaving little rainbows everywhere.
Unicorns prance happily
as a wave of rainbows everywhere.

Unicorns chase their tails like
dogs shedding pretty
sunsets everywhere.

Unicorns watch over us
Like guardian angels.
The unicorn flies into my dream
As I sleep.
©️2019 LillianDarnell.com 

To learn more, to support Lillian, or read why it’s so important to her, go here ….

https://lilliandarnell.com/2019/03/27/fundraising-for-the-2019-chromosome-18-family-conference-poem-creativity/

 

Asking for Help and Please and Thank YOU – Chromosome 18 Family Conference

July 13 2019:

I’ve never used this before … Yet, I’m kinda, sort of, like, REALLY exhausted and was moved to give this a go for the wee bit remaining to fully cover the cost of this year’s Chromosome 18 Conference. If it moves you and you feel it the right thing to do, please share. Much love! The conference is being held July 21st-24th in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Once a year she gets the opportunity to be amongst friends and those who get her, those who judge not. Once a year, she gets the opportunity to attend a life changing event. And, every year it does, sometimes a small change, sometimes a huge change. She chooses the time approaching this once a year event, and at the event itself, to conquer fears so as to have exciting news to share with friends …….

Visit this link to read more and to share should it move you. With deep gratitude for all who have shared and donated in the past few days. https://www.gofundme.com/f/help-lillian-spread-her-wings

 

Fundraising for the 2019 Chromosome 18 Conference – Lillian

Sharing for Lillian Darnell (my daughter for those who don’t know) …. She is one determined being with this every year. She will continue to ask me for ideas every other day with a determination and steadfastness that rivals a future Olympian in training …

“Hey, everyone! For this year’s fundraising efforts for my family to attend the Chromosome 18 Conference in Colorado Springs, I decided to make customized poems. Here’s some information on the poems:

The poems will be nature themed, fairy themed, mermaid themed, or unicorn themed. Every poem created will be different and uniquely yours! You can get a decorative border around the poem, incorporating recycled materials; or simply the poem emailed to you.

Now, here’s some information on what the Chromosome 18 annual conference means to me:

The Chromosome 18 conference means a lot to me because I get to meet new friends and spend time with old friends. It also means a lot to me because I get to travel to a new city with my family.

The Chromosome 18 conference helps me get over my fears and my emotions. It helps me feel brave, courageous, and enjoyable. Here’s an example: In July 2017, when my family and I were inside the airport, I was fearful, nervous, tired, and afraid; yet, the view I got from the airplane was amazing and it was all worth it.

Here’s a poem as an example:

Butterflies dash and play
Within the golden sunbeams
Dancing in the afternoon sky.

Butterflies fly in the sky like a colorful moving rainbow
Glimmering in the sky.
The sky sparkling like water.

Butterflies dance freely along
the water.
Water sways as it’s greeting the butterflies.

©2019 Lillian Darnell

You can still purchase prints of my abstract artwork also.”

from me: Lillian has a condition called 18p- which means she is missing the short arm of chromosome #18. The ways in which this manifest for her are: difficulties with articulation, balance and depth perception issues, chronic pain, difficulties with handling strong emotions, and irrational fears and worries.

Her only friends are through the Chromosome 18 group. She always chooses one fear to conquer leading up to the conference. This year it is her fear of taking a shower (she’s always taken baths). She’s nearly conquered it already! The conference is like one long therapy session for the entire family as there is a track for parents/caregivers, a sibling track, and a self advocate track.

Feel free to share this with any you know who enjoy supporting artists and fundraisers.

(Photo of Lillian on one of our date days; and a message from Lillian, table centerpiece and a group photo … All from the 2018 conference in Baltimore)

Go here to learn more ….

Fundraising for the 2019 Chromosome 18 Family Conference – Poem Creativity

 

Camilla and Lillian Update for Chromosome 18 Conference in Baltimore and the Fundraiser

June 23 2018:

Lillian and I share that Lillian would like to have a birthday party in Baltimore so that she can actually celebrate in person with her best friends.

And we talk about Lillian selling her artwork as a fundraiser … https://lilliandarnell.com/…/fundraising-for-the-2018-chrom…/

Thanks so much everyone! xoxo